Eve's logoSome of my personal friends know it already…
there’s a new woman in my life.

Her name is Eve (not not “Eva”, sorry girl).

After having a long-term relationship with her for over a couple of years, we broke up, because we lost interest in each other.
That, and my wife found out Eve and I were spending too much time together, and she needed the attention more. (you read ‘attention whore’, right?)

Recently, Eve got back in contact with me (she haunted my dreams frequently during the four years of abstinence).
A tempting request received over email persuaded me.
The only sad part is… I have to share her with over 40.000 men and women daily.

If by now, you don’t get it already, EVE Online is a video game.

In EVE (the game, not the woman), you get together with an average of 30.000 players (not pimps, but video game players) on one giant server cluster, in one giant universe consisting of over 7500 star systems (measured near the beginning of 2013).
You basically fly a mining/shooting/transporting spaceship or hang around in your captain’s quarters, doing administration, manufacturing, invention and whatnot.
Knowing there’s an almost infinite number of EVE Online related websites that explain all about the game to you, I will not be the one to repeat them. I’ll just quote the better.

If you ever plan on playing EVE, there’s a really nice new-player-experience for you, as described in this lovely reddit tribute, that recently got some attention in the media, and even made it on the official EVE Online Facebook page due to the cuddliness of the article.
Every veteran EVE player can concur : the first time you play EVE (and like it – it’s not a game for the masses) is a feeling you’ll never have again. Ever. Ever.
The experience of thinking you’re rich as hell, after your first full night of mining, or having completed your first  kill-mission, and afterwards getting this illusion shattered by looking at market prices, fits right into the collection of disappoint memes.

A tiny guide at what you can do in EVE is necessary, though.
Let’s start out with what NOT to expect in EVE, before you get a 14 day trial trough either the EVE website, or the Steam Store.
Eve isn’t… :

  • World of Warcraft. Really, anything WoW represents gets raped in every hole possible and turned around
  • A flight simulator with cockpit view. If you want these kind of games, look for games like Microsoft’s super successful Freelancer.
  • A game with an easy learning curve.
  • Kiddie material (the average age of the EVE player is found to be between 25 and 30, with the occasional elderly player)

I promised you some help in EVE. Here it is :

  • First of all, if you want to gimme a shout in EVE, mail me in-game. My character name is (as you might have guessed) Zupertails.
  • Prepare to be number-crunching, after a couple of weeks in-game. You WILL strive to become better in every tiny way possible.
  • Skills are NOT gotten by grinding and grinding. No, you get in-game skillpoints to assign to your favorite skills OVER TIME.
    The only thing you get by grinding like a nut is money (referred to as ‘isk’ further in this post, as well as in the game) and reputation with certain factions.
  • You will have to read A LOT of forums/wiki pages/in-game descriptions/…  if you want to get good at this game. The in-game tutorial will only get you that far.
  • MMOgames wrote a fine article for beginners. [Check it out].
  • EVE University have their own website, and have an actual bootcamp for training beginning players inside the game.
  • Make friends. Lots of friends. EVE is not a single-player mmorpg (contradictio in terminis).
    You’ll need friends to cover your ass in combat, to help you get a bigger and faster mining yield, to train you in every aspect of EVE.
  • If you like to make real-life investments, and check out the national newspapers on a daily basis to see how good your recently acquired stock options are going, you will have a ball in this game. EVE allows you to manipulate the completely player-driven market at your own will. Want to buy out an entire batch of items inside a constellation? Go ahead, be a market broker! Buy low, sell high, but prepare for huge risks.
  • A very important one : DON’T GIVE UP EASILY. I know it can be very frustrating getting your precious ship blown to pieces, just milliseconds before realising you forgot to pay insurance.
    I’ve seen a lot of players getting disappointed by their first EVE experience just because they didn’t understand the game mechanics.
  • Don’t get blinded by the PLEX offer. PLEX is an in-game vvveeeeerrrryyyy expensive item, that allows 30 days of game-time for free.
    Play for fun instead.
    If you’re rich in a (hopefully nearby) future in EVE, then consider farming for your monthly PLEX. But be warned, you’ll have to work for your PLEX.
  • Don’t know what to do yet? Check out http://swiftandbitter.com/eve/wtd/
  • Don’t fly what you can’t afford to lose.

As stated somewhere above, there’s tons of websites ready to help you start in EVE. There’s also the in-game tutorial. There’s a EVE Beginner’s chat channel.
There’s tons more.


Don’t let this movie discourage you :-)

2 Responses to “EVE – a social virus in disguise”

  1. Yep, Very nice game.
    Learning curve is very steeply !
    11€ /Month subscription

    Once you start playing is hard to stop
    (especially at night, after 4 Hour’s of playtime)

    Very nice Blog :)

  2. It is fucking addictive, that’s what it is… The last two weeks I haven’t been able to do my regular chores in the house because of this game. Thanks alot, Tails!

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